If I don’t ignore you while I write this,
I will never get it written.

You are what matters
ultimately
but not right now.

I can only give you what you want
if I finish
and I can’t finish
if I imagine
that you are reading over my shoulder
rolling your eyes
at my sentence fragments
redundancies
awkward clannish symptoms….

what?

my daughter still sleeps
I think
she stayed up until at least 2 or 3
drawing
I think

I have been working
at trying not to imagine you
reading over my shoulder.

Ah. She’s up,
telling me that her friend’s boyfriend drama
is driving her crazy.

She did draw until 3:40 a.m.
silly kid
while trying to help her obsessed friend
get over her suspicions
that her boyfriend
loves another girl
(He is 14. Of course he loves another girl!
He loves all girls).

(reminder: this is not a blog; it’s a journal.)